Scars

I once again have fallen behind in my keeping up with my blog and for that I apologize. There has been a lot going on. A lot of stuff that I've gotten hurt and been upset and just didn't need to get somewhere outside of my privet journal where venting could happen. Everyone gets hurt, and everyone gets angry when their hurt because usually it's someone you love. I read once that when love is cut anger is the fluid it bleeds. I guess that's true because no one likes seeing their loved ones hurt.
Everyone has scars. That's apart of life. People let us down, people hurt us, abuse us and turn and walk away. It all causes scars that take time to heal. The problem is when people keep the scars and they hang on to them and let them become excuses for how they are. Life can break you, we all know that. It has a way of punching us in the face and we're expected to go on with a smile on our face. But when you can, it shows just how strong of a person you are. It shows your character. When it comes down to it, everyone could have a reason not to get up and face the world each day. We could all have reasons to be insecure or think everyone is out to get us. But the truth is, we can't. We can't let the scars win because if we do then we'll never enjoy life the way we are supposed to.
For me and my friend who face a sickness and have physical scars to show for what we have been through it can be a very special reminder or it can be a real downer. No one likes to look at their stomach and see scars across it. Let's just be honest it's NOT a pretty sight. But in the end it can do one of two things, it can make you cry (and yes I have) because it reminds you of what you're facing, or it can remind you that you have survived! That today might be hard and tomorrow might be harder but you have survived and that means you can get through.
Scars tend to sometimes still be painful. I know sometimes mine will burn, ache and feel like my skin is ripping apart but it's just part of the healing. I know that over the next few years it will not be as bad and the scar will heal even more so. Sometimes we have to deal with those scars that are healing on the inside, on our heart. Those are painful when they heal. And it's not a fun process. But just like the scars I see on my body I have to remember that the scars on my heart mean the same thing. That I have survived. That no matter what comes along with God I have survived and will continue to do so. Even Jesus had scars.
So out of my anger and hurt and frustration that has been in my life lately I'm striving to remember this when dealing with the people I want to scream grow up at, that the healing is hard, and the scars are there but I can't let the hurt that I've felt become scars on me. I have enough scars and if I embrace the hurt I'll only be asking for more. We are humans and we have scars but there is healing.
♥

Here we go again!

Hello darlings!! As you may have noticed this isn't the blog I had before (No duh) I decided it was time for some changes so we are starting all over from scratch. I figured it would take so long to catch up on everything from the last post on my old blog till this one it wouldn't matter very much anyways.
There are several very huge things going on in my life lately but I shall refrain from talking to much this one entry since it is just getting back into the swing of things.
1. I no longer work for the devil. I know HUGE relief..till I realized my bank account is running low and I won't get paid tomorrow. Something I'm trying NOT to think about at the moment.
2. I didn't get into the nursing program. Yeah :/ Which come to think of it I think in my other blog I had mentioned failing it the first time. So let me explain- I went back and took it again.I really really prayed about it. I prayed about it the first time I took it and prayed if I shouldn't do it then I wouldn't pass. As you will all remember I wasn't able to finish the test and had to get up and leave. Well instead of taking that as maybe oh I don't know a sign me and my mom decided I should give it another shot after an advisor called and asked me to please try again because my grades were so good. So I did..and I got an above average grade combined with above average grades and still didn't get in. That my friends was a God thing. I'm learning a LOT lately just how to lean on Him. My life kinda felt out of control the past two weeks because I gave up my job thinking I was positive I was getting into the program because of the grade and then BOOM I'm not and I'm jobless and have no plan B. (I know that really shocks you) Sooo I went and talked to my advisor yesterday and ended up having enough classes to graduate in December qualified to do two different jobs in the health care/business field. So once again God came through.
3. I'm getting a really good flow on my novel. FINALLY! I wanna do a little dance for finally feeling like it's going somewhere. True it's not where it should be as far as the written part but I finally have all my thoughts organized, my characters so detailed that they could step off the page into flesh form and that my friends is a huge step for me! After sitting in front of the computer for 5 hours I do feel rather accomplished :)
So these are the things that are happening in my life lately.. Just as a catching up. OH! and I'm dating this sorta amazing guy.. ;) I promise not to be super mushy and make you all sick at your stomachs :)
Well now that you are all caught up on my life I shall end this catch up with one funny quote from my baby brother Adam who is 5 and believes our brother Isaac is the fountain of all knowledge.
"Isaac did they have PlayStation 1 in the old days?"
yeah pretty darn cute ;)
Sweet dreams♥