Thursday, August 4, 2011


I once again have fallen behind in my keeping up with my blog and for that I apologize. There has been a lot going on. A lot of stuff that I've gotten hurt and been upset and just didn't need to get somewhere outside of my privet journal where venting could happen. Everyone gets hurt, and everyone gets angry when their hurt because usually it's someone you love. I read once that when love is cut anger is the fluid it bleeds. I guess that's true because no one likes seeing their loved ones hurt.
Everyone has scars. That's apart of life. People let us down, people hurt us, abuse us and turn and walk away. It all causes scars that take time to heal. The problem is when people keep the scars and they hang on to them and let them become excuses for how they are. Life can break you, we all know that. It has a way of punching us in the face and we're expected to go on with a smile on our face. But when you can, it shows just how strong of a person you are. It shows your character. When it comes down to it, everyone could have a reason not to get up and face the world each day. We could all have reasons to be insecure or think everyone is out to get us. But the truth is, we can't. We can't let the scars win because if we do then we'll never enjoy life the way we are supposed to.
For me and my friend who face a sickness and have physical scars to show for what we have been through it can be a very special reminder or it can be a real downer. No one likes to look at their stomach and see scars across it. Let's just be honest it's NOT a pretty sight. But in the end it can do one of two things, it can make you cry (and yes I have) because it reminds you of what you're facing, or it can remind you that you have survived! That today might be hard and tomorrow might be harder but you have survived and that means you can get through.
Scars tend to sometimes still be painful. I know sometimes mine will burn, ache and feel like my skin is ripping apart but it's just part of the healing. I know that over the next few years it will not be as bad and the scar will heal even more so. Sometimes we have to deal with those scars that are healing on the inside, on our heart. Those are painful when they heal. And it's not a fun process. But just like the scars I see on my body I have to remember that the scars on my heart mean the same thing. That I have survived. That no matter what comes along with God I have survived and will continue to do so. Even Jesus had scars.
So out of my anger and hurt and frustration that has been in my life lately I'm striving to remember this when dealing with the people I want to scream grow up at, that the healing is hard, and the scars are there but I can't let the hurt that I've felt become scars on me. I have enough scars and if I embrace the hurt I'll only be asking for more. We are humans and we have scars but there is healing.

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